THIS IS REALLY LONG. So if you dont have the patience or the attention span. Just go ahead and read the 3rd to the last and the 2nd to the last paragraphs.

I’m not 19 anymore.  Basically, in about 2 months I can officially say that I'm 20. (no more-teen) But these past 2 months have made me feel grown up so much more than I have felt in my entire life.  I don’t know whether it’s because of student government or having worked at Best Buy (BB). Frankly, it’s probably both. At BB I saw a future that I didn’t want. I saw a near minimum-wage job as a manipulative liar.  (How fulfilling aye?)  Both student government and BB deals with people.  In student government I have to sell how involvement in school opens doors, makes life more fun, etc. At BB, I just sold.  Both deal with people politics which I’m getting a better hang of.   I enjoyed the experience of working because it opened my eyes.  I saw what was in the big picture.  I saw that I wanted to make a difference in the world and that selling CD towers wasn’t the right path.  I saw that sacrificing excellent grades for pocket change wasn’t worth it. I saw that I wanted a career that would be fulfilling and fun.  The long-run, sort of speak, is what’s TRULY important in life.

I am really truly learning a lot, not so much just in subjects in regards to school but politics regarding people.

Today was a very long a day for me. I did homework, rushed, but did it thoroughly.  I went to class, another class right after, a cabinet meeting (those are fun actually).  But it was after that cabinet meeting that I truly started contemplating because i was put into 2 awkward situations.  Today I dealt with very political, red-tape issues, such as ICC violations, Student Gov't by-law violations, etc. AND to top the cake, I dealt with a gung-ho journalist who took  Josh's words and twisted them around according to her own idiosyncrasies.  She thinks the world is out to get her, especially Associated Students! (which is not the case at all)  She expressed how she could play games too. She expressed how things could be tained and how if she wanted to go down that road she could.  I WAS LIKE WTH. Just because you're older, wiser, have kids, doesnt mean you can speak to us like that.  Because on the bottomline, we were on her side.  If you cant handle questions from a couple of students, how will you handle when faced with the Board. (People with doctorates who get paid to deal with the politics of the school) She thought it was a mistake talking to us, and she assumed it would lead to FUNDS BEING TAKEN AWAY FROM THE NEWSPAPER/JOURNALISM DEPT. (NOT AT ALL) The questions were posed to see her view and so we may be able to empathize with her.  Because of this journalist, I learned the importance in the way things are worded, and how you ask questions.  If I ask questions, I’m sorry if I mean to offend or rile you up. Sometimes, it’s just that I want to know, so I may be able to empathize with you.  

People say “It’s not what you know but who you know.”  And I agree very much to an extent. But PRIMARILY it’s in how you treat the people you know.  I will do my best to never burn bridges with anyone, any group, or company--whatever it may be.  I will do my best to maintain my composure.  Maintaining composure will show a “good” attitude and it shows that I’m staying attentive and focused.  If I start/try to do something, and try with good intentions, it will probably happen with the effort.  To quote a high school ASB advisor: “With effort things will fall into place”  Basically saying, If I want to make it to school on time, I have to make that effort and wake up earlier every morning.  If I want to do well in my classes, I have to make the effort to read.  It’s simple. It’s just busting a NIKE and just doing it. 

I don’t want to say I have learned to play people. Because that is the most pessimistic outlook I can ever take and will probably lead only to failure. But I can say this. I’ve learned to work WITH people and not against people. I have learned to listen. I have learned to promote and sell. I have learned the value of composure and I have learned the importance of staying one step ahead. (Be it in class, in conversations, in actions)  THESE ARE SO IMPORTANT when dealing with people everyday and also in life.  I have learned the value of just listening and nodding. I have learned the importance of asking questions.  Lastly, I’ve learned time is precious.

My attitude back in high school was “SCREW IT! SCREW EVERYONE.” I also thought, “I don’t care what the teachers think, I’m tired I’m going to fall asleep” Not anymore!  If I’m tired, whether I’m in class or at a meeting, I’m not going to slouch or look juvenile or elementary. I’m going to maintain my composure because it is the little tid bits of information and example that sets off in someone else’s mind whether I am capable of doing such and such or whether I deserve so and so. 

Back to the “Screw it. Screw everyone!” I’m such an advocate of the concept of neoliberalism (woohoo! go poli sci!) which deals with working with groups and not against them.  In high school, my attitude was “I don’t care if they do or don’t like me,” but now I do.  The issue is whether you’ll let them faze you, and stop you from achieving what you want. I want to be liked.

So it leads me to, I’m growing up in thought, but is my external still of an immature high school kid. How long can I go wearing American Eagle and Urban. I mean I’ve stopped wearing Hollister (for cost reasons and their clothes have been getting whack! And theyre poorly fabricated, but that’s for another rant.)  A&F more bang for the buck?! I think not.  But I do believe in, don’t judge the inside by the outside (or more ubiquitously known—don’t judge a book by its cover” but also “The outside does reflect some of the inside.”  So is it gonna be J.Crew for me (awesome but expensive but good quality!) and Gap is getting nice too ever since they got that Marc Jacobs designer.  Their clothes are less maternity looking.  But hollister is definitely out of the picture, but I've had 70 bucks to spend there for the past year, and i havent bought anything! Shame. Shows you how much their clothes started to suck (in my opinion) especially if i couldnt find anything I liked in a year! Deng!

But if anything, follow through. You may decide to keep in contact w/ certain people. You decide to set forward some goals. But the main thing in life is to follow through, see that it gets it done, and that you’re satisfied with how you’re life is going and in the long-run *how it went.* How many times do you say “I wish I did this and this.” Or “I wish I could turn back time” 

So I cant really sum this up too well, because I feel all the points I’ve said are valid. But treat people well, and do the most you can while you have the chance. Thank you and have a good one.

My apologies for this jumbled mumbled mess. But I am very sleep and I had all those thoughts swimming around in my brain. Good stuff, alright